In 2021 Betty Crocker celebrates her 100th year. Such great, deep history that no other advertising character can match.
Lately I've been reflecting a lot on my journey with Betty Crocker. People ask me all the time how I got interested in writing a book and making a documentary film about Betty Crocker.
My book on Betty first published in hardcover by Simon & Schuster.
The short answer is that no one had done it yet. It is and was a shockingly good story, far too good to pass up. And how often does that happen in a person's life? It truly felt like Betty chose me.
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From my documentary film on Betty. |
But the long answer is much more complicated.
I was a tour guide for the Minnesota Historical Society and about to start a graduate school program in American Studies and Film Studies at the University of Minnesota. On my tours people would get downright giddy when I pointed to the Washburn A Mill ruins (which soon after became the Mill City Museum) and explained that it was Betty Crocker's birthplace. People had so many questions about Betty and I had questions too. Like, why was everyone so giddy about Betty? And didn't they know she wasn't real?
It happened so often that I decided to read the book on Betty Crocker's history because clearly, I wasn't getting something so significantly shared by tourists. I quickly discovered that there was no book on Betty. So I tried to find the documentary film. There wasn't one of those either. Curiouser and curiouser.
I was blown away that this rich history that had been ignored by authors, historians, documentary filmmakers, etc. However, it did make sense to me that many people simply would not be able to get past the corporate narrative and see the compelling story underneath.
So, I naively set out to make a film and write a book about Betty Crocker. I hadn't written a book nor made a documentary film, but at that point I had read so many poorly written books (and horribly edited ones) and seen so many cheesy, boring documentary films that I knew I could as least do better than most. And I folded my research into my graduate work, so I was getting constant feedback about the academic merits of my work.
The journey was long and arduous and I discovered why no one had written a book nor made a film on Betty. The key was access. At the time, the General Mills archivist was cagey and suspicious of anyone outside of the company writing about Betty. She was very concerned about tarnishing the Betty brand and didn't want me poking around. But after a few requests and the knowledge I shared through Betty Crocker radio broadcasts I found in an academic library, she did allow me to come into the archives and research the letters sent to Betty - for which I am still grateful.
I had to get creative and get serious with my research. Beyond reading history books (secondary research), I conducted oral history interviews (primary research) with women who lived through the height of Betty Crocker's popularity in the 1940s and 1950s. I put the word out that I was looking to interview anyone who worked at the Betty Crocker Kitchens - especially under the direction of Marjorie Child Husted. I wrote an article for the Hennepin County History Museum (Minneapolis) and wrote an op-ed piece to solicit Betty stories.
Additionally, I researched in special collections at libraries, historical societies, and even church archives. I eventually tapped into a network of retired home economists from the Betty Crocker Kitchens aka "The Crockettes." I conducted oral history interviews with many over the phone and I traveled to meet face to face with some of them.
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I loved interviewing Crockettes and they often shared their personal photos with me from working in the Betty Crocker Kitchens. |
Eventually, the General Mills archivist retired and the new archivist, Katie Dishman embraced me and my storytelling, allowed me access to everything Betty related in the archives. She even put me work as a contractor researcher on the history of the Chex brand.
Now there's a common misconception about corporate archives that they save everything. They do not. I'm not sure how this rumor started but the General Mills archives did not tell the full picture of Betty's history, so I wound up having to fill in the gaps.
I purchased a lot of Betty Crocker ephemeral items like cookbooks, ads, letters, radio show scripts, tv scripts, photos, radio recording, recipe booklets, menus from the Betty Crocker short-lived restaurant, the Betty Crocker magazine, etc. from eBay and antique dealers. It really was amazing what I could find to help fill out the story. While I kept a lot of rare gems, much of it I donated to the General Mills archives in thanks for letting me in. If I hadn’t, I could have easily opened up my own Betty Crocker museum.
But there's a dark side to all this.
I rarely talk about it because "all's well that ends well" and for a historian, I ironically don't like to dwell in the past. But last week when I was talking with a friend we joked about how if it weren't for Betty Crocker, we wouldn't even know each other.
She read my book, blogged about it, we started talking and soon we were good friends. I made an off-handed comment about how I’m glad that I didn't listen to all the people who were against me writing the Betty book and making the film. She wasn't remotely surprised but encouraged me to not be shy about telling that side of the story. She's a successful public figure who knows a thing or two about the naysayers and the damage they do.
We wound up talking about how friends, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. said some truly detrimental and discouraging things to me in an attempt to get me to give up on my hopes and dream. Or they just wanted to put me in my place and make feel bad because it would make them feel better about themselves. (People like that are truly the worst and will always be chasing that fix.)
Weirdly, until she encouraged me to talk about it, I had almost completely forgot about all those trash conversations and the damage people tried to inflict on me. When memories like this surface it’s a reminder to how ugly people can be when you're an artist starting out and how truly threatened people are by anyone who is doing something special with their lives.
In the beginning of my Betty journey I was out of my comfort zone every single day, just trying to tell a story that hadn't been told before. I was vocal, transparent, vulnerable and excited.
I thought my friends and acquaintances would be excited and happy for me because I had found my thing. And I always shared in their excitement over their hopes and dreams. And of course, many were lovely and wonderfully supportive every step of the way and I'm deeply grateful to them.
Although if I'm being honest, many did not become outwardly supportive until the actual book was published, I had a book launch, was making national tv appearances and went on a book tour.
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I had a very memorable stop on my book tour to Toronto. But I don't remember taking this picture at all. Ha! |
But back to what people don't usually talk about.
A lot of people did not support me. In fact, they wanted to take me and my enthusiasm out. They told me in direct and indirect ways that there was no way I could write a book, get it published nor make a film. I didn't have enough experience. General Mills wouldn't allow it. General Mills would sue me. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I was in over my head. I was full of sh*t. I wasn't an established author, so I wouldn't be able to find an agent. I would have to team up with a historian to write the book because I didn't know enough on my own. It went on and on.
A few people even rolled their eyes and laughed in my face saying, "Why would you want to write a book on Betty Crocker?” and “I would never want to see that movie.” As I’m writing this I keep wondering, was it that really that bad? Am I exaggerating? But sadly, I think I’m underselling it. Ugh, people can be truly awful.
Over time, I welcomed the challenge. I liked that I had this giant project outside of my everyday work and I enjoyed talking about. (This is laughable to me because now I rarely talk about my writing and doc filmmaking until a project is done. I’m simply not the same person.) And if people wanted to argue with me about it, I thought, "Fine. Let's do this." What was it that was so ridiculous about me and Betty Crocker?
It usually came in the form of someone claiming to be "worried about me." They would grill me about how I planned on making it all happen. And of course they would focus in on any part of my plan that was out of my control. (like getting an agent, publisher, funding for the film). It made them feel fantastic that there were elements of fate to my plan that they could throw back in my face as proof that none of it would work out. When I reminded them that all artists need to be open to fate, have faith and take risks, it made their blood boil.
Looking back, it's astounding that people would get so worked up over me writing and book and making a documentary film about Betty Crocker, (where were my giddy people?) but I think it says more about how they underestimated me from the start and found my ambitions a threat to them.
And where are those people today? Not a single one of them is in my life. They just faded away. (With the exception of a few friends and family members who will always have a “bee in their bonnet” about me and Betty. Ha! Big babies.) And no one ever apologized to me nor admitted I was right all along. I guess that only happens in the movies.
But seriously, what would have happened if I had listened to those people? What if I shrunk to fit their idea of who I was or dulled my shine to make them feel brighter? What if I hadn't taken the risks? Because after all, there was no guarantee that I would get published or finish the film. What if I didn't even start because it was so difficult to be out of my comfort zone? What if I didn't dare to dream because there wasn't a risk-free path to follow?
I learned to not listen to anyone. (And I cannot emphasize enough how mad this made people - especially Baby Boomer men). I stopped listening because it became crystal clear to me that none of them knew what they were talking about. It was obvious just by looking at their low-risk lives. Plus, I'm just made of tougher stuff than them. There was no way I was going to quit because someone rolled their eyes at me. Or told me I was going to get screwed over by my publisher, if I ever got one. Or that my book idea was so niche that only a few people would ever read it. Were any of these people experts in indie documentary filmmaking, publishing or marketing? No, again, they knew nothing other than how to spot a risk.
Interestingly, when I told people I got a book deal the very first question out of their mouth was always, "Who is the publisher?" And I proudly told them Simon & Schuster and they were always stunned silent. They wanted to pick that apart too, tell me they never heard of that publisher, but of course everyone knows about S&S. So I left them out of moves.
So, in the end, I won. It took me seven years but I wrote the book, made the film, went on a book tour and launched my creative career.
I made more films, wrote more books and screenplays. I won awards, fellowships, screened my films internationally, spoke to crowds of 1000s of people, screened one of my films at the Smithsonian American Art Museum (very few people can ever say that). I sold and optioned screenplays and had meetings with some of Hollywood's elite about adapting my work. All of which came with a whole new set of much bigger problems and issues than people telling me to give up on Betty Crocker.
But I think this all these negative memories resurfaced for a reason. Someone or perhaps several people need to hear this and hopefully it will help. I got treated like a punching bag because I dared to dream big and be open about it. But I also got very used to it and thought it came with the territory. But now I see that I could have done more to stop the verbal and emotion abuse that comes with chasing your dreams. Bottom line: People should not have treated me that way. And you shouldn't allow people to treat you this way. I learned the hard way so you don't have to.
Your success can feel like an affront to others because they choose to feel small and act impulsively. Too bad for them and thank God you aren't them. It's a backhanded compliment to you, so just walk away. Don't engage. Over time, you'll stop attracting people like that in your life. And you will learn more about setting boundaries and being selective about what you share.
Constant criticism is often a dream crusher. And if you read this whole post and think, "Wow. I have no idea what this lady is talking about" then you are likely blind to the fact that you are crushing other people's dreams. So now that you know here's your tough love moment: Choose to be a better person. Even if you feel threatened by someone else's dream or you are so jaded that you only see failure or feel the need to control things. Just smile and say, "Good for you! I'll support you every step of the way."
Let's all try being supportive to anyone who is doing something positive, getting out of their comfort zone - especially in the arts. Writing is tough. Documentary filmmaking is even tougher. People everywhere need healing, not for you to cause them more pain.
Obviously, there's a lot more to my journey. I've oversimplified quite a bit and I left out a lot. But if you are the person I unearthed this for, I wish you nothing but light on your journey and feel free to reach out and tell your story. Please don't give up.
Write your dream on a post-it note, look at it each day and honor your path.
Mine said: "I'm so happy that I’m the first person to write a book and make a documentary film about Betty Crocker!" I wrote that post-it seven years before my dream was realized. And guess what? I'm still the first and only person to do these things. Apparently, I'm a tough act to follow. And I know in my heart that you are too.